Fillyloo Follies: Bits and Bytes of Being_____.
For the next 30 days, we are going to get rid of some junk that does not belong in our brains anymore. What are the bits of thoughts or actions stopping us? Which sound bytes constantly drag us back down rather than lifting us up? If you have not watched the video associated with this series, I highly recommend you do so. You can access it here: Bits and Bytes Video. Join the conversation in the comments below as we gently and gracefully get real....together.
DAY 1 HOPEFUL: With a new year often comes a fresh hope for what could be. Ask yourself these questions...and if you have a journal...write down your answers... 1) What does hope look like to you? Feel like? Smell like? Taste like?
2) What bits of hope do you cling to? Where do you find encouragement?
3) What bytes in the media or interactions with friends/family/coworkers rob you of hope?
4) Do you know why those bytes trigger you? What is the original source? What is one small step you can take toward healing this trigger? (counseling? EFT? Meditation? Exercise? Hobby? etc.)
5) What color represents hope for you?
DAY 2 BROKEN: Brokenness....we tend to parade it around like a medal or we hide it as though it devalues us. We sometimes use it as a weapon and excuse for choices which cause us more hurt. Blame and shame are often our go to feelings in those moments. But what if we changed our perspective? WHAT IF.....brokenness is a blessing? WHAT IF....the breaking is what enables the blooming? This doesn't mean what happened to you was okay. It does not mean you should not feel hurt. Feeling and being honest about where we really are is so important. But it is equally important to move through it rather than setting up a fort in that spot and weaponizing the position. We must look at what got us to that place and choose a new path. Answer the following questions in your journal today....
1) What is your brokenness? Was it one major event? Or a series of small events repeated over and over?
2) Is there a pattern of this in your family and/or friendships?
3) How have you reacted in protection of yourself?
4) Do you cling to your brokenness as a reason to "not"?
5) Do you have compassion for yourself? Or do you see your self through the lens of shame?
6) What steps can you take to acknowledge and release what broke you today? (Talking to a friend? Quiet time? Counseling? Rehab? Stop social media stalking? Do you need to be honest about the role you played? Etc.)
7) If your brokenness were an act of nature, what would it be? A tornado? A drought? A snowstorm? An earthquake? A hurricane?
DAY 3 PEACEFUL: So what is "peaceful"? The dictionary says it is "characterized by peace; free from war, strife, commotion, violence, or disorder; peaceable; not argumentative, quarrelsome, or hostile". I think we often chase peacefulness without really understanding what it means to us. Some of us feel most peaceful around close friends and family. Others in moments of solitude. There is also a spiritual aspect to being peaceful. Being at peace in our minds is often the hardest thing to achieve. We find ourselves being distracted by an endless loop of brain chatter...."this or that might happen....what were they thinking....I am not good enough....I am fat....I am unlovable....I hate this person" and on and on and on. Our peacefulness is often stolen by thoughts of things that have never and will never happen. We all do this, so you, my friend, are not alone. Answer these questions in your journal today...
1) When have you felt the most peaceful? Write the story. Was anyone with you? Where were you? What were you doing? Do any smells come to mind? What about temperature?
2) What thought loops tend to over take your mind? What are you thinking about yourself? What are you thinking about others/circumstances?
3) What are the top five good things in your life right now? (Don't overthink this. It can be as simple as a new pair of shoes.)
4) What are three good things you can think about yourself daily?
5) What does feeling peaceful look like to you? Write the story. Are you in a particular place? Has a certain issue been resolved? Is anyone with you?
6) If peacefulness were a place, where would it be for you? (A beach? The moon? A friend's house? Etc.)
DAY 4 ANXIOUS: This has been a big one for me. I am so incredibly thankful for the counselor who years ago helped me see my anxiety was not an affliction, but a warning system. My brain and body were trying to get my attention. I learned my anxiety would show up, when I was in one of three place: over-whelm, over-work, or illness. See that word "over"? That is one I pay careful attention to now. I have learned the power of no and of being honest with those around me about my inability to do something with/for them. Taking a quiet, self-care day is now something I strategically plan. It is a precious appointment with myself.
Now, let me be clear....anxiety can also be a biochemical issue no amount of personal growth work or meditation can fix. If you use all of the tools in your personal growth toolbox and nothing gives you relief, please, my friend, seek medical help. Doing so IS one of your tools. It can help you get to a place where you are able to continue on your growth track. Now, on to our questions for your journal today...
1) Where in your body do you feel anxiety? (Chest? Head? Throat? Etc.)
2) When anxious do you find you become hyper-busy? Or do you withdraw?
3) What was going on around you the last time anxiety was triggered? What thoughts ran through your head? Is social media a trigger?
4) Anxiety is often (but not always) linked to a past trauma or wound. Think back. Did your anxiety first show up after a specific event? When it is triggered, are you in similar situations?
5) How can you care for yourself during times of anxiousness? I utilize quiet time and EFT. What is your go to self-care strategy?
DAY 5 REFLECT AND RECAP: I am so proud of you! You have done a lot of work over the past four days. Take a moment today to celebrate! Let's take today to recap and reflect. We have examined hopeful, broken, peaceful, and anxious. Take a moment to look over the notes in your journal today.
1) Do you see any consistent words or themes in your answers? Circle any consistent wording. Write down any themes.
2) Is there a question you know you need to delve deeper into?
3) What support do you need in order to face and release the more difficult feelings?
4) What is your best next step to get that support? Coffee with a friend? Saying no to some things? Making that counseling appointment? Beginning a spiritual practice? Etc.
Every 5th day, I am going to share a resource with you I think you may find helpful. I suggest following the person I mention on Instagram or Facebook and leaving it at that until the end of our 30 days together. When we reach the end, there will be 6 new resources for you. At that time, I would look at each of them and decide which one or two (if any) speak to you and feel useful for the next step in your journey.
Today, I encourage you to follow Dr. Caroline Leaf. She is a a communication pathologist and cognitive neuroscientist. An interview she did with Steven Furtick from Elevation Church made a huge impact on me and the way I view my personal mental health. Her book Switch on Your Brain is a consistent go to for me.
DAY 6 GRATEFUL: "Gratitude is perhaps the most important key to finding success and happiness in the modern day. Knowing what we appreciate in life means knowing who we are, what matters to us and what makes each day worthwhile. Paying attention to what we feel grateful for puts us in a positive frame of mind. It connects us to the world around us and to ourselves." --Dr. Lisa Firestone, Psychology Today
In the busyness of daily life, it is so easy to get stuck in the mind loop of what we don't have and what isn't right. This loop amplifies our stress, anxiety, and unhappiness. Amazingly, when we take a moment to pause and be grateful for even the smallest moment, things begin to shift for the better for us. Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) What gets in the way of gratitude for you?
2) When are are grateful for something or a situation, what other feelings come forward for you?
3) What are 3 small things you are grateful for today? (Ex. clean laundry, coffee, hot water, etc)
4) What are 3 big things you are grateful for today? (Ex. health, shelter, employment, etc.)
5) When the yucky mind loop starts, start listing the things you are grateful for. Do this all day today. Before bed, write down how gratitude shifted your mindset.
6) What one thing are you most grateful for today?
DAY 7 RESENTFUL: Resentment can be a very tricky and sneaky emotion. It is readily recognizable, when it shows up after we have been treated unfairly. But what about those other moments? What do we do when we feel resentful and aren't sure why? Let's take a look at this together. Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) When was the last time you were treated unfairly? Did you feel resentful?
2) What situations trigger the memory of that experience? When triggered, do you find yourself experiencing resentment in that moment?
3) Do you see images or stories in your social media which trigger resentment for you? (Maybe a friend who got that promotion? Or had a baby? Or bought a new car? Etc.)
4) What other emotions accompany your feelings of resentment?
5) What feelings or situations do you need to release to be free of resentment?
6) What self-care steps can you take today to be free of resentment? (Ex. EFT, gratitude journal, meditation, counseling, unfollowing the social media triggers etc.)
7) When you experience resentment, what temperature do you feel in your body? A rush of heat? Cold? An absence of temperature/disconnect?
DAY 8 FORGIVING: Forgiveness. It is both beautiful and difficult. Freeing and frustrating. We often withhold forgiveness in an attempt to protect ourselves. In reality, this just forces us to relive the hurt over and over -- consciously and subconsciously. Forgiveness does NOT mean what the other person did to you is okay. It DOES mean you are free from reliving that pain. You can release to create space for more joy and abundance in your life. Forgiveness is a process. Even after forgiving, those old feeling still come up from time to time as we heal. True forgiveness also comes with boundaries, so we are able to care for ourselves without dipping into the dark side . Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) List the names of the people who are unforgiven in your life.
2) Beside their names, list how they made you feel.
3) If you were free of those feelings, what positive thoughts and feelings could enter your life? How would you prefer to feel?
4) You may not be ready for this part. That's okay. You can always revisit this later. Next to the name of each person write the following: When you did (insert trespass) to me, that was not okay. It made me feel (insert feelings). I choose to invite in forgiveness and love into my life, so I choose to forgive you. My new boundary with you is (insert the boundary).
5) Our body holds onto our past hurts as much as our mind does. Today, I want you to try something that may be new to you to release this old hurt. It is called EFT or tapping. You may feel silly doing it, but it really helps remap your brain, so you can heal. On YouTube search for "Brad Yates Forgiveness". Several choices will pop up. Choose the one you think is right for you.
6) How can you celebrate your decision to forgive today?!
DAY 9 DOUBTFUL: How often do you find it to be easier to cheer on a friend than yourself? I experience this frequently. I can see all of their potential, but easily DOUBT my own. Doubt will cause us to procrastinate. It encourages the negative thought loop in our minds. It speaks failure before we have even taken a step. Doubt often keeps us chained in place away from our purpose and our gifts. True failure is never even trying. When you learn from something, that is always a success...even though that success isn't quite what you imagined. Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) Where does doubt show up in your life? Who are you comparing yourself to when doubt shows up?
2) Where do you feel doubt in your body? (Stomach? Chest? Joints? Etc)
3) If you were guaranteed success without any chance of failure, shame, or embarrassment, what would you do?
4) Who is your encourager? Who speaks life into your goals and dreams? Is it a friend, family member, or co-worker? If there is no one, let me be the first to say. You can do this. It is worth trying. Yep, you may fail, but you will learn something important to make your second try better. Also, dear friend, time to find your tribe. Step out into new groups doing the things you love/want to do. Look for local events through the MeetUp app or Facebook events. Do some volunteering in your community. It may take some time, but the right people will come into your circle.
5) Write the following in your journal: I feel doubtful about my ability to (insert goal or dream). I honor myself for feeling doubtful. I am just trying to protect myself. I choose to move forward anyway. Today, I am going to do (insert one action) toward my goal/dream.
DAY 10 REFLECT AND RECAP: We are on day 10 of 30. Time for another recap. And can I just say...wow. We have done some great work.
We have examined hopeful, broken, peaceful, anxious, grateful, resentful, forgiving, and doubtful. Take a moment to look over the notes in your journal today and go through our 4 reflect and review questions .
1) Do you see any consistent words or themes in your answers? Circle any consistent wording. Write down any themes.
2) Is there a question you know you need to delve deeper into?
3) What support do you need in order to face and release the more difficult feelings?
4) What is your best next step to get that support? Coffee with a friend? Saying no to some things? Making that counseling appointment? Beginning a spiritual practice? Etc.
Today, I encourage you to follow Gabby Bernstein on Instagram or Facebook. She makes meditation and having a self-healing practice easy and accessible. Her book, The Universe Has Your Back, is one I have read a dozen times. Each time, I learn something new about myself. Judgement Detox, May Cause Miracles, and Super Attractor are also go to resources.
DAY 11 CONTENT: Contentment is sometimes mislabeled as a stumbling block to personal growth or achieving goals. In truth, apathy is what blocks us. Contentment helps us rest in joy and be open to new possibilities. When we are content were we are, we are able to dream and take risks without our sense of self being placed on the sacrificial altar of fear. Contentment opens the door for more success, because we already feel success right where we are. Like attracts like. Contentment allows for good things to flow into our lives, because we aren't hung up on the outcome. We are happy where we are and enjoy what we have, but we welcome the possibility of something better in whatever form it may come. Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) Have you ever been content with where you are in life? If yes, what did that look like? If no, what is it about your situation that leaves feeling discontented?
2) Comparison often robs us of our contentment. Who do you compare yourself to? Why do you feel the need to be more like this person?
3) What are five things you feel contented with in your life right now? (Don't over think this. It can be as simple as your sock collection.)
4) Where do you feel contentment in your body? What other feelings accompany it?
5) Challege: Starting today, unfollow anyone in your social media who triggers comparison and discontentment for you. Follow five new people who inspire you. On our recap day, you will examine how this has shifted your mindset.
6) If contentment were a smell, what would it smell like?
DAY 12 JEALOUS: Jealousy....one of the most dangerous emotions we each face from time to time. It creates division in families, marriages, friendships, and workplaces. Jealousy blocks our ability to celebrate and learn from someone else's success. It blocks our own success, because beneath jealousy is the belief we are "not as good as" or "can not achieve" the same success as someone else. We like to believe we have been slighted or robbed and that the other person is undeserving. Jealousy repels other people and opportunities. In truth, if we celebrate the success or achievement of others, we will experience more joy. Our joy will attract more our way. Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) Who triggers jealousy for you? A friend? Family member? Celebrity? Co-worker? Make a list of everyone who triggers this feeling for you.
2) What is it they have you want or feel you deserve more?
3) What would change in your life if you had or achieved those things?
4) Out of that list, what is the one thing you want most? How can you change your behaviors or habits to achieve that? (For example, your neighbor has the new boat you have dreamed of owning, but you can't afford it. What steps could you take in your finances to start saving for it? Maybe put all of your spare change in a jar? Or eat out less?)
5) Beside each person's name on your jealousy list, write the following (even if you don't really feel it): Congratulations on (insert what makes you jealous). I am so happy for you. If you can achieve this, so can I. You inspire me and give me hope.
6) How could shifting from jealousy to inspiration make a difference in how you view your goals and aspirations?
DAY 13 EXCITED: It feels so good to be excited about something! It drives us forward and helps us focus. It builds our hope and feeds our joy. Excitement is an important part of our lives we often push aside. We stick it in the box labeled "only for kids at Christmas". For some reason, we reach a place where we have very little excitement in our lives. It only peaks out during a vacation or special event. Time to change that! Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) When was the last time you felt excited about something? What was it?
2) When you think about your current dreams/goals, what excites you about them? What makes them special to you?
3) If struggle with feeling excited, what is the next positive thing coming up for you? Lunch with a friend? A day off of work? Maybe a new book to read or a new season of a favorite tv show?
4) In reference to the question above, write the following sentence in your journal: I am so excited (write above answer) is happening on (day it is happening). Today, I will tell (name a person) I am excited about this.
5) When you feel excited, where does it show up in your body? Does your heart race? Do you smile more? Are their flutters in your tummy?
DAY 14 GENEROUS: I know. You are thinking, "Shannon, generosity is an action." Yep! You are correct. BUT you also are able to FEEL generous. Feeling generous connects us to all kinds of warm, fuzzy feelings about ourselves and the world around us. We often think of generosity as huge gifts of time or money. The truth is those big gestures are great, generosity shows up mightily in the small moments too. Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) What does generosity look like to you? Do you consider yourself to be generous?
2) When you feel generous, what other emotions do you experience?
3) Has someone ever been generous to you in some way? If yes, what did they do?
4) Do you receive others generosity well? Do you express and feel gratitude? Or do you find yourself feeling shamed?
5) How can you add small moments of generosity to your day? (Ex. Tip your waitress an extra few dollars, give someone like a new mom or elderly neighbor 30 min of your time to help them, take cookies to share at work, etc)
6) How could small acts of generosity affect the world around you?
DAY 15 REFLECT AND RECAP: We are on day 15 of 30. CONGRATULATIONS! We have made it half way! You rock! Let's recap!
We have examined hopeful, broken, peaceful, anxious, grateful, resentful, forgiving, doubtful, content, jealous, excited, and generous. Take a moment to look over the notes in your journal today and go through our 4 reflect and review questions .
1) Do you see any consistent words or themes in your answers? Circle any consistent wording. Write down any themes.
2) Is there a question you know you need to delve deeper into?
3) What support do you need in order to face and release the more difficult feelings?
4) What is your best next step to get that support? Coffee with a friend? Saying no to some things? Making that counseling appointment? Beginning a spiritual practice? Etc.
5) If you have implemented a support practice, what difference has it made so far?
Today, I encourage you to follow Brene Brown on Instagram or Facebook. She has spent her career studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. I love her book The Gifts of Imperfection. I am currently working through, Dare to Lead, and it is phenomenal. If you have never watched her TED talk on shame, I HIGHLY recommend it.
DAY 16 FEAR: Fear. This serves a both as rescuer and destroyer in our lives. It is often associated with external experiences -- fear of heights, spiders, snakes, etc. It is also a warning system to let us know, when we may be in an unsafe situation -- like being followed down a dark street. But what about those other fears? The ones we say we don't have, but actually grip our hearts, plague our minds, and block our way? Sometimes this fear is masked by other feelings we have already discussed -- like anxiety, judgement, etc. Once we unmask these fears and shine light on them, they no longer control us. We can begin to heal the fears and move forward. This is the fear we will be talking about today. Answer the following questions in your journal:
1) How does fear manifest for you? (Procrastination? Anxiety? Anger? Control? Panic? Etc)
2) Fear is often rooted in feeling unsafe or unworthy. In what areas of your life do you feel unsafe? (Financially? Job insecurity? Relationship stability? Etc.) In what areas of your life do you feel unworthy? (Job promotion? Relationships? Friendships? Goals? Self care? Etc)
3) Think back. Can you pin point when you first experienced feeling unsafe or unworthy? What happened? How old were you? How has this experience showed up in the rest of your life?
4) Speaking to yourself as you would a friend or a child is powerful. Fill in the blanks and write the following in your journal: (Your name), I am so proud of you for shining light on the yuck of your fear. I am so sorry you experienced those hurts. Thank you for exposing them to the light, so they can be healed. Today, fear is released and replaced with love.
5) What steps can you take toward healing today? Maybe it is time to contact a counselor or talk it out with a trusted friend? Try doing EFT everyday? Meditation? Affirmations? Prayer? Maybe multiple things?
6) How does fear show up in your body? (Do you sweat? Get cold? Shake? Etc)
DAY 17 TRUSTWORTHY: Trust...we all have issues with this on some level. Sometimes it is trusting ourselves or trusting others. Ultimately, a lack of trust comes from feeling unsafe. If we trust someone and they violate that trust, our feeling of safety is compromised. But what about trusting ourselves? The choices we make for ourselves is where self-trust begins. Let's look at this today. Answer the following questions in your journal:
1) When faced with any sort of decision (big or small), do you find yourself taking a friend/family opinion poll? Do you ask for advice through social media?
2) If the answer to the above is yes, do you keep polling until you get the answer you want or are you truly seeking insight? If the answer is no, do you feel secure in your own choices or are you afraid of what others might advise?
3) When faced with big decisions, do you simply go with your gut? Do you create a pro/con list? Do you seek counsel?
4) Do you believe every choice is really an opportunity for growth and learning? Why or why not?
5) Would you describe yourself as a trustworthy person? Do you keep your promises/vows? Do you admit, when you have not kept a promise? Would those in your inner circle describe you as trustworthy?
6) What promises have you made to yourself regarding your self-care? Do these promises come from a place of fear or love?
7) Activity: The next time you have to make a small decision -- like buying a new shirt -- trust yourself and do not seek the counsel of someone else. Write down how you feel after trusting yourself to make the choice.
8) When you do need guidance, who do you trust to advise you?
9) Write in your journal one small way to build trust in yourself!
DAY 18 JOYFUL: My pastor once shared this bit of wisdom -- happiness ebbs and flows through our circumstances but joy is something we choose. My first thought was, "Wait....what?! I can choose joy?". Yep. We can. Think of it like this. You just finished cleaning the living room. The next thing you know your kids have pulled out all of their toys and made a mess. You have two options -- be mad at them OR feel joy because you created a space your children feel comfortable enjoying. You can choose to cherish their playtime, because they won't be little forever. We can choose the thoughts and the things which bring us joy. Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) How does it feel to know you can choose joy? How might that change how you perceive certain situations?
2) Make a list. What five things you own bring you joy? Are they connected to a particular memory or activity?
3) Make a list. What five activities bring you joy? What inspired you to learn/do this activity?
4) When you are with friends or family, what brings you joy in those moments?
5) What changes might you need to make to create space for more joy? (Maybe only volunteer once a week instead of two? Or maybe you choose to only accept one to two invitations out a week? By clearing our schedule, we create space for the things, people, and activities which bring us joy.)
6) What is the one activity in your list which brings you the most joy? How can you do more of that?
7) How can you intentionally choose joy today in situations and activities?
DAY 19 SURRENDERED: Anyone else sometimes struggle with surrendering to the process? I absolutely do. I am an administrator and planner by nature. I like to know where I am going and what is going to happen, when I get there. But ya know what? Having a plan is a great idea, but surrendering to the process and allowing the plan to change is so much better. Opening ourselves up to possibility and adventure brings depth, color, and richness to our lives. Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) What does surrender look like to you?
2) If the breakthrough comes through surrender, what area of your life do you need to surrender to the process?
3) What outcome do you want in the above area? Are you open to the possibility you could receive something even better?
4) Small Act of Surrender Activity: You will need a blank piece of paper and your choice of a pen, marker, or finger paints. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in and release. With your eyes closed, draw on the paper. Focus only on how it feels to allow your hand to glide across the paper. No peeking. Before you open your eyes, say these words, " No matter what appears on the paper I am proud of the process."
5) How do you feel after doing the above activity?
6) What are 3 small ways you can surrender the outcome of what you want most to the process?
DAY 20 REFLECT AND RECAP: Welcome to day 20! We are in the home stretch, my friends! I am so proud of you for doing this work!
Take a moment to look over the notes in your journal over the past 20 days and go through our 5 reflect and review questions.
1) Do you see any consistent words or themes in your answers? Circle any consistent wording. Write down any themes.
2) Is there a question you know you need to delve deeper into?
3) What support do you need in order to face and release the more difficult feelings?
4) What is your best next step to get that support? Coffee with a friend? Saying no to some things? Making that counseling appointment? Beginning a spiritual practice? Etc.
5) If you have implemented a support practice, what difference has it made so far?
A friendly reminder, I suggest following the account I mention below on Instagram or Facebook and leaving it at that until the end of our 30 days together. When we reach the end, there will be 6 new resources for you. At that time, I would look at each of them and decide which one or two (if any) speak to you and feel useful for the next step in your journey.
Today, I encourage you to follow Steven Furtick on Facebook or Instagram. He is the pastor of Elevation Church in North Carolina. He is also the author of several fantastic books. I am currently reading Unqualified, and I highly recommend it!
DAY 21 FAITHFUL: Faithful....for me, my faith in God is the most important part of my life. It is the compass that guides me. But what about other aspects of faith -- faith in humanity, love, and goodness? Faith that good things really are out there for us? Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) What does faith mean to YOU? If you aren't sure, that is okay. That is a relevant answer.
2) Think about your answer to question one. How has faith or a lack thereof shaped how you see the world around you? Do you view the world in a positive or negative light?
3) How has faith or a lack thereof shaped how you view yourself?
4) How do you think faith connects to love, trust, joy, and forgiveness?
5) How do you feel, when someone has faith in you and your abilities?
6) How can you take a small step of faith in your goals or relationships? (Maybe invite that friend to lunch? Or try something new you have been afraid to try? Visit a local church or gathering? Maybe say no to an opportunity that sounds good but doesn’t feel right? Etc)
7) Do you think a little bit of faith can alleviate some of your stress?
DAY 22 INTENTIONAL: Intentionality can sometimes feel like another thing on my "to do" list. Be intentional with your time...your thoughts....your choices....and on and on and on. But ya know what I have learned? It doesn't have to be about the big stuff. We can rock this on a moment to moment basis. I can be intentional with my thoughts while not being intentional with my free time. We don't have to be hyper-intentional all of the time. In fact, I think we need to know when to flex our intentional muscle and when to take a break. Answer the following questions in your journal:
1) Which category do you think describes you best:
a] Intentional in every aspect of my life. Everything has a purpose and a plan.
b] Intentional only in a few specific areas. I like to focus on one or two areas of growth at a time.
c] Not intentional at all. I just go with my gut at all times.
2) How you think viewing intentionality through the lens of moment to moment decisions would change how you walk through each day?
3) Do you think you are overly intentional or not intentional enough? What is one change you can make today to re-balance your intentions?
4) How do you evaluate the areas most in need of your focus? Do you base this on emotions, opinions, fads, facts and figures, or clearly defined goals?
5) Make a list of all of the areas you want to live with intent. Are any of these areas related? Which one is MOST important to you?
6) For the next 7 days, how can you narrow your focus to the MOST important area listed above?
7) What does intentionality mean to you?
DAY 23 CONFIDENT: Confidence is often characterized as something you have or you don't. This my friends is a lie. We ALL have confidence. There is this crazy idea out there that says being confident only applies, if you are confident in everything. In truth, confidence shines brightest in our willingness to learn! Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) In what areas of your life do you feel confident? (Don't overthink this. It can be as simple as 'I make great sandwiches'. It can also be as big as 'I inspire those around me to be their best selves'.)
2) In what three areas of your life would you like to be more confident?
3) What would being confident in those areas change for you?
4) What do you need to learn in those areas to build your confidence?
5) Take a good look at that list and what you need to learn. Which one sounds like the most FUN?
6) Fun and joy are very important to our personal growth. Now that you know which area appeals to you most, what is one small step you can take toward being more confident in that area?
7) How can you celebrate as your confidence grows?
DAY 24 OVERWHELMED: In a world that celebrates busyness, it is so easy to feel overwhelmed. I often feel like I am doing too much and not enough at the same time. Staying in a constant state of overwhelm plays havoc with our nervous system and with our relationships. How do we get out from under the heaviness of overwhelm? Let's get practical and list it out! Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) List the areas of your life where you feel overwhelmed. (Job, home, family, friends, etc)
2) Below each of those areas write out your "to do" list for each category.
3) Look at each "to do" list. Place a star next to each item with a definite deadline. (For example, 'you have two reports due for work by Tuesday.' That would get a star. On the other hand, 'you need to repaint the hallway.' No star, because in this case it is a project with no specific time it absolutely MUST be completed.)
4) For the items with a specific deadline, put them on your calendar and make a plan to complete them. Anything without a deadline needs to be off your calendar.
5) What about plans with friends/family? Let's take a hard look at these. Now that your MUST complete items on on your calendar, look at the plans you have scheduled. Do any of them interrupt the time you need to complete the must do tasks? If the answer is yes, reach out to that friend or family member today to reschedule. Apologize to them. Let that person(s) know you have a deadline you can't get out of. Let them know rescheduling will give you the space to be fully present with them when you do get together.
6) Look at the remaining items on your "to do" list. Number them in order of importance. Go ahead and place the #1 item of importance on your calendar. Only AFTER that has been completed may you place the next item on your calendar.
7) Are there some items on that list that would be easier with help? Time to ask for help!
8) How could using this approach each week help you?
DAY 25 REFLECT AND RECAP: Welcome to day 25! Just 5 days left to go! I am so proud of you for doing this work! Take a moment to look over the notes in your journal over the past 25 days and go through our 5 reflect and review questions.
1) Do you see any consistent words or themes in your answers? Circle any consistent wording. Write down any themes.
2) Is there a question you know you need to delve deeper into?
3) What support do you need in order to face and release the more difficult feelings?
4) What is your best next step to get that support? Coffee with a friend? Saying no to some things? Making that counseling appointment? Beginning a spiritual practice? Etc.
5) If you have implemented a support practice, what difference has it made so far?
Today, I encourage you to follow Lysa Terkeurst on Instagram or Facebook. She is a wife, mother, grandmother, author, speaker, and president of Proverbs 31 Ministries. She has written many great books, but her book The Best Yes changed my life! If you struggle with busyness, this book is for you!
DAY 26 HEALTHY: I don't know about y'all, but I often get focused on EITHER my physical health OR my mental/spiritual health. When I hyper-focus on one, the other one falters. In truth, they are connected and need attention simultaneously. Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) Which one do you tend to focus on more -- physical health or mental health? Why do you think you focus on one more than the other?
2) Make two columns on your page. Put physical health on the left and mental/spiritual health on the right. In each column, write your top 3 challenges for each. How might these challenges all be related?
3) When you envision yourself as healthy physically and mentally/spiritually, what does that look like? How do you feel? What are you able to do?
4) Do you have an accountability partner for your health and wellness journey? If yes, how has that person helped you? If no, how might having that person make a difference?
5) How might you bring joy and fun into this journey? (Ex. Learn to skateboard; Join a study group reading a personal growth book you want to read; Learn to swim; Take a yoga class; Join a prayer group, etc)
6) Keep in simple. What is ONE thing you can do once a week to improve your physical health? Schedule that now. What is ONE thing you can do once a week to improve your mental/spiritual health? Schedule that now.
7) How do you think linking your physical and mental/spiritual health goals could be a game changer for you?
DAY 27 PERSISTENT: Children often show us what persistence should look like. Have you ever watched a child who is determined to learn or achieve something? They are persistent in their efforts to....ride their bike, hit the ball, read that chapter book, etc. Even when they fail, they keep trying....often declaring to any adult who will listen, "I can do it!". We can learn a lot from children. Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) Would you describe yourself at persistent, when trying to learn or achieve something new? Or would you describe yourself as easily defeated?
2) Children often keep at learning and trying new things in spite of being told they are too little, or too young, etc. How can we incorporate that kind of persistence into our adult lives, when obstacles and criticisms arise?
3) Think of a time, when you persistently pursued achieving a goal, dream, or task. What motivated you? How did you feel in the process? How did you block out the naysayers?
4) What goal or dream have you allowed to fall to the wayside, because of obstacles or criticisms? What would it look like to try again? What should your first step be?
5) Kids often experience joy in their learning and persistence. What would it look like to be joyfully persistent? Where is the fun in what you want to achieve?
6) How can you remind yourself to embrace childlike joy and persistence? (A song, an affirmation, a calendar reminder, etc)
DAY 28 STRESSED: Stress is both good and bad. Bits of stress here and there help us grow. However, ongoing stress damages us both mentally and physically. Creating margin in our schedules for rest and quiet....even if only 10 minutes a day....is very important. But what if stress has become an addiction? That is also possible. Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) What is the greatest source of stress in your life at the moment?
2) When one source of stress is removed, do you find yourself taking on something new? How might you break this habit?
3) When you have quiet time, do you catch yourself playing on your phone or mindlessly surfing on the TV?
4) How could you set aside 5 to 10 minutes a day of quiet without any tv, computer, or phone interaction?
5) What obligations in your schedule could be eliminated for a season?
6) Do you think 5 to 10 minutes of Yoga, meditation, or EFT could help relieve your stress?
7) What is one thing you will do this week to manage your stress better?
DAY 29 ENCOURAGING: I listened to a sermon this morning on YouTube that really impacted how I think about encouragement. It was 'Winning In Second' by Nick Nilson at Lakewood Church. It is so easy to get caught up in wanting or needing recognition, when we help or encourage someone. We end up feeling angry and resentful, if helping someone fails to give us an ego boost or get us more likes. But what if today we changed that? Answer the following questions in your journal today:
1) What does encouragement look like to you?
2) How often do you think you encourage others?
3) After encouraging someone, how often do you share about your actions with another friend, family member, or on social media?
4) Do you hold a grudge, when the person you encouraged fails to encourage you in return?
5) How might things change, if you began to be an incognito encourager?
6) Activity: Anonymously encourage one person a day for 7 days. You may record this activity in your journal, but you may not tell any one else about it. Simultaneously, write down each time someone encourages you.
7) Write a word of encouragement to yourself in your journal. Imagine you are writing to your best friend.
DAY 30 FINAL REFLECT AND RECAP: Thank you so much for rocking out Bits and Bytes with me! We have learned so much, but this is only the beginning. Today, you will do your final reflect and review. Also, I will share one last resource at the end. It is time to review all of the resources I have shared and decide which one or two speak to you. Check out the books/materials they have available. I like to search through Amazon, because I can check them all out in one space. Choose the next resource to guide you on your journey!
Now, take a moment to look over the notes in your journal over the past 30 days and go through our final 5 reflect and review questions.
1) Do you see any consistent words or themes in your answers? What is the PRIMARY theme that you see in your notes?
2) That primary theme is the next focus of your healing. What would it feel like to be completely healed in this area?
3) What support do you need in order to face and release the more difficult feelings?
4) What is your best next step to get that support? Coffee with a friend? Saying no to some things? Making that counseling appointment? Beginning a spiritual practice? Etc.
5) If you have implemented a support practice, what difference has it made so far?
Today, I encourage you to follow Pastor Chris Hodges on Facebook or Instagram. He is the founding and senior pastor of Church of the Highlands in Birmingham, Alabama. His book, Fresh Air, is a great guide to clearing out the stale and bringing fresh, new energy giving life into our daily lives!